But the Lord

Have you ever tried to second guess God? Well let me tell you, it’s very frustrating.

In college, I spent a year in Japan. There were thirty of us from colleges all over the United States. We lived with host families and we studied five hours everyday at a small private college in Kobe. Although the program was designed specifically for language study, I thought God had sent me as a missionary.

In the course of that year, I was moved to five different host homes for one reason or another. While the rest of the group became close to their families and each other, I was just getting to know a new family and a new neighborhood. I was lonely and frustrated. I recall coming home one day to the house in Takarazuka-shi on the bus, crying out to God, “How am I supposed to witness the gospel to anyone if I don’t stay in one place long enough to form relationships?”

And God answered, almost audibly. “I sent you as a student, not a missionary.”

Those words changed my entire perspective. While others in my program lived in one home, I lived in five. As they spent more time with one another speaking in English, I was forced to get to know and speak with new families. I realized how unique my experience was, and began to appreciate the blessing of it. I learned so much.

The reason I reminise is because I’ve been frustrated to the point of tears lately. But in the quiet of the early morning, I realized I was doing the same thing I did in Japan. I have been trying to second guess God and it has made me very unhappy.

In the midst of my frenzy, trying to figure out what I’m supposed to be doing at this juncture in my life – writing? volunteering? serving? advising? focusing on family? God has spoken, again.

Job cried out to God for answers, and God responded by telling Job who He was.

God responded to my questions in much the same way.

He said, “Seek Me, trust Me, follow Me. Stop guessing.”

The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the Lord. Proverbs 16:1 ESV

All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Proverbs 16:2 ESV

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. Proverbs 16:9 ESV

Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. Proverbs 19:21 ESV

The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord. Proverbs 16:33 ESV

“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” Job 42:2 ESV

It’s my prayer this morning, that God would graciously help me to see the blessings of this season and to rest in Him. Pray for me, would you?

One comment

  1. He answered your questions with Himself. This is so close to my heart! Thanks for sharing your heart, Nicole!

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